Revenge of the Turks!
by Flayme
Summary: This fic is DEFINATELY for fans of the turks, but there's a whole lotta Sephy-bashing all the way through! Well, he did make the turks watch Barney's adventure (agggghh horrible!) so this fic is about their revenge...read and review!


Revenge of the Turks!  
Roses are red, bluebells are....errr....blue, I don't own FF, so nuts to you!  
lol! It's meeeee again, Flayme! I've decided to carry on writing FF7 fics, coz it's something to keep you amuzed while I'm writing the 5th (and possibly final) Zell's wacky inventions fic ^_^! Anyway, no flames please and if you're called "Hippo" then will you just LEAVE ME AND MY FELLOW AUTHORS ALONE! ahem Sorry bout that....anyway, here goes, I hope you like this one Carbuncle...   
(Oh, and one more thing, the * marks mean that's what someone's thinking in case you didn't know)  
  
(The scene is set at Cloud and Aeris's place, they're arguing in the kitchen)  
  
Aeris:*He's smiling one of those annoying adorable smiles at me...I can feel my resolve weakening...but I'm determined to remain firm. That bird can go right back to the stables.* Nope!  
Cloud:(whines) But Aeris! Spikes never been outside before! Pleeeeze?  
Aeris:*Oh god not the little boy voice* .....Nope.  
Cloud:Oh come on! How much damage could one little choco' do? (winks and grins an assuring smile) Trust me, spike's not trouble at all!  
Aeris:*Ack, Damn. My knees are getting weak. Why does he have to be so cute?* (she looks down at the chocobo) *He's actually kinda sweet....No nonononononoooooo! I will not...What a little angel, he's waving at cloud* sigh I guess.....  
Cloud:Thanx Aeris! (he runs out and slams the door)  
Aeris:(looks down at spike and he glares at her like a demon) Oh god, Cloud what have gotten me into?  
  
(Later)  
  
Cloud:I'm Baaaaack!  
(no reply)  
Cloud:Aeris?   
(pokes his head round the door)  
Cloud:Oh crap..  
(There's potting soil EVERWHERE, food dishes are overturned, Spike is running across the ceiling chasing a fly, and Aeris is standing, glaring at Cloud)  
Cloud:Uhhh....hi Aeris...(sweatdrop like in an anime cartoon)  
Aeris:Hi?  
Cloud:Errrr.....sorry?  
Aeris:YOU HAD BETTER BE SORRY! (slaps Cloud)  
Cloud:sniff That hurt...  
Aeris:I didn't hit you THAT hard...  
Cloud:(cries and hugs Aeris's legs) Don't hit me any more! I'm REALLY sorry!  
Aeris:(looks down at Cloud) Hmph...  
Cloud:(hugs Aeris's legs tighter) I'm really sorry...sniff Pleeze forgive me...(he flashes the "Clouds Angry Girlfriend Difusement Device" smile)  
Aeris:sigh All is forgiven then....but you still have to clean up this mess and THAT little beast has GOT TO GO!  
Cloud:Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou thankyou!!!!  
Aeris:I even know who the little guy is perfect for...  
  
(The next morning, Sephiroth's place. He's in his boxer shorts going to collect the mail)  
Sephy:*A bill...another bill...ANOTHER bill....ooooo...I may already be the winner of 10,000 gil!*  
(he walks back to his room and sees a cardboard box in front of the open window)  
Sephy:I wonder what this is? No-one ever gives me stuff!  
(he opens the box)]  
Sephy:Awww...aren't you the cutest thing? *Wow! It's a baby gold chocobo! It seems to have a collar..let's see..the tag reads...*  
(he reads the tag)  
Sephy:Spike...OWWWWW!!!! STUPID BIRD!!!  
(The chocobo bites Sephy's nose and glares at him like a demon)  
Sephy:Ohhhhh shit....  
(He starts to run as the chocobo tries to bite him again...the chocobo catches up with him and eats the seat of his new silk moogle-print boxers)  
Sephy:OWWWWWWW!!!!! DAMN DEMON-CHOCO!!!!  
(He hears laughter but is too preoccupied trying to save the skin on his ass to take notice)  
  
(Rufus, Reeve and the Turks are outside, laughing at Sephiroth)  
Rufus:He just clocked 50mph! This radar gun was a good idea!  
Reeve:Yeah, and so was the video cam!  
Rufus:Yup.  
Rude:Revenge is sweet...he'll never make US watch Barney's Adventure as punishment again!  
Rufus:Hey reno, did you spray sephy's boots with that chocobo scent? You know, the one that makes 'em horny?  
Reno:(waves the can and grins) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
(Tseng and Elena read the note attached to the box)  
"Dear Reeve,  
We heard that you recently were treated to the most cruel torture imaginable by your empoyer's emloyer. Spike may be useful in getting your revenge.  
Best wishes,  
Cloud and Aeris"  
  
(Meanwhile, inside Sephy's house)  
Sephy:AGGGGHHHH!!!! WAIT TIL I GET MY SWORD!!!! YOU JUST WAIT YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!  
(Spike jumps and)  
Sephy:AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY ASS! MY ASS! HE'S CLAMPED TO MY ASS!!! Where are the jaws of life when you need them? God, you're punishing me, right?  
(He looks up at his large window and sees thousands of panting horny chocobos leering at him. They're pressed against the glass so thickly there's hardly any light getting in)  
Sephy:Mommy....  
  
(Back outside)  
Reeve:What a great shot! It looks like Sephy has tail feathers!!! All those panting chocobos look pretty inerested too. I'm glad we mixed those special nuts into his food yesterday! *jeez if Rufus laughs any harder he's gonna give himself a heart attack*  
Reno:Rufus? You OK man?  
Rufus:Yeah I'm fine (he's laughing so much he's crying)  
  
(and Sephy, it's over to you....)  
Sephy:Oh nononononono NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!   
(the large window shatters and he runs to the door, the chocobos are coming up behind him, he's bleeding on his grey carpet, and realises his front door is locked!)  
Sephy:(pounding on the door) LET ME OUT!!!!!  
(Sephy hears more laughter, and he turns to face the rush of birds, he doesn'r see the camcorder watching from a nearby window)  
Sephy:Mommy....help meeee  
(Nothing happens..Two alpha males begin to spar for the first go)  
SephypanicsGODI'MREALLYREALLYSORRYFORBEINGEVILANDPROMISETOMAKEUPFORIT....ANDIWON'TLISTENTOMYMOMMYANYMORE!!!!!!!  
  
(Outside again, Reeve shuts off the camera and Rufus is still grinning and crying)  
Rufus:Hey reeve, let's get him out now...hey Elena is that box adressed yet?  
Elena:Yep, Shinra Corp. presents Gaea's funniest home videos. (she holds up the box proudly)  
Reeve:Stand back....  
(Reeve opens the door, yanking Sephiroth through it. He's in shock and staring into space, muttering about chocobos. He slams the door on the chocobos)  
Reeve:Hey reno, give me a hand here....We'll have to get this little choco's beak offa his ass...  
(Dark Nation, who has been silent up to this point says...)  
Dark nation:Vivo chocobo! Yo tengo chocobo por la mayana. Rufus est muy estusipdo y yo llavo zapatos de Rufus por la pheremonas. Hee hee hee...  
  
(In an unkown location)  
Flayme:oh no...Dark nation just got a really nasty idea...he said:  
(translation) "Cheers for the Chocobo! I want the chocobo for tomorrow. Rufus is really stupid and I'll wash his boots in chocobo pheremones. Hee hee hee"  
  
End! ^_^  
  
Look out for the Sequel to this one,Sephiroth's Revenge!  
  
  



End file.
